A sputter

I finally made myself login, dump some coin on more large jewels, run a shroud quest, bank 22k and log off. Maybe I picked the wrong quest but I my gut I didn’t have fun. Right now there’s about 3 things you can do – TR, try a different toon or start a complete new one. I’ve tried all 3 and I feel like the pond is getting smaller and smaller. Each time when I do one of the 3 it holds me for less and less time. That’s not me saying I want or should leave. It’s me trying to find a reason not too.

We’ve seen things together, DDO and I. The first stumbling steps in Khortos. The first failures. Dying ontop of the beams against that undead skeleton magician. Running from rats. Exploring sewers. Fried my lighting when there were no Ship buffs. Hitting 14 and dying lost in the Macabre. Ambushed by 2 assassins. Making 2 green steel rapiers for my FvS, then they changed how 2 weapons fighting works – couldn’t afford the feats – put them in the bank. TR’d, created more toons. Ranger, Horc fighter, 2 Arti’s, Horc Monk, Human sorc. Grew, TR’d bled, fought, improved, got cool stuff, did Epic, beat a god and finally saw the end. Lost faith among pine trees and against wolves. Fought fungal zombies and got bored. Rotated my guys, got them better, did backward peddling in off destiny and felt frustrated. Daily VON3s made me dizzy and tired.
Fell off, played something else and came back. Xpack again, dumbfounded.

We’ve seen things.

Together. From the first dripping severs and gray oozes to the howling wind blowing of the sharp edge of a cliff. From the unknown purple dead trees in a land of undead and devouring rats to the crunch of branches fighting poachers. Years. Sun drenched beaches, crystals in caves, kobolds in ethereal castles. Stealing books, destroying boxes, lost in steam tunnels and fighting a guardian elemental for some thing. Stopping a war hungry Orc boss and gathering material to make better acid improving boots. Jumping for Coins to add cold damage to weapons. Fighting pirates to make cooler hats.

Seen my guild grow and lost friends. One after one – people we laughed with, played with, raided with and was lead by. Walked off into a sunset, never to be seen. Boat grew, money sunk into buffs – changed name and kept on running. And now. Am I one of the ones walking into the sunset? Do I feel like I’ve completed my story yet? There was a time when hours flex by and I felt I hadn’t accomplished anything.

When early morning turned into a growling stomach around lunch time and light faded outside my window.

It’s Dark outside.

And I haven’t played once today.

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